I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Randomize
