**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
