You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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