woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Randomize
