I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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