doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
