turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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