Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
either way he was missing a nipple.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
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