you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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