Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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