end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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