Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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