Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
