How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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