pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
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I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
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Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
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