I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
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