I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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