i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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