when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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