I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Small penises have feelings too.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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