just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I am mentally ready for anal.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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