yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
