my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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