New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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