U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
he shaved USA in his pubs
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
