i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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