He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
