She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
