Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize