i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Randomize
