I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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