i just wanna soil my oats bro
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
