A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
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