Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
