It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
