You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Randomize
