I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
