Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize