Define "chronic" masturbator.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
