Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
