I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
