you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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