is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
