I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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