Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
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