I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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