I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
