If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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