i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
