Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
