just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
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