Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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