also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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