the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
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